Last week, before going to the lake there was another good friend who I made lunch plans with the intention of telling her about the surgery. Her and my college girlfriends were the last of my closest friends who did not know. I knew I wanted to tell her for a while, but I hadn’t known.
We met at her apartment to eat our brown bag lunches and had covered some of the sucky things going on in her life first – details about the passing of her husband’s old and dear friend who went to high school (beyond sad!) and major landlord problems that were causing her and her husband to move in the next 45 days unexpectedly. Then she asked the very open ended, “so how are things with you” question. That was my opening so I told her about us trying and the doctor visits and the surgery. Afterwards she looked at me with tears welling up and said, “well that just sucks!” She came over and gave me a big hug and we cried together. I know that she wasn’t just crying for me, but for all the pain in her life too right then. Even so, it felt so amazing to have a friend cry with me over how unfair this feels and how truly devastating it can be. Up to this point most people’s reactions to our situation haven’t been very comforting. You know that they care, but they always seem a little uncomfortable because they don’t know what to say, so they say that everything is going to work out and that it is going to happen soon. Sometime optimism isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered, sometimes you just want to know that your friend has your back and is in the trenches with you!