Tag Archives: Humor in infertility

Humor in Surgical Prep

Yesterday, I stopped by the pharmacy on my way home from work. I needed to pick up an Enema to use pre-surgery as instructed by the doctor. I knew what the results of taking one would be, but had no idea how it was actually administered or what it looked like. After wandering around for minutes trying to figure out what aisle (you’ll find them with the laxatives – duh!), I found them. They were on the bottom shelf, probably as to not offend the sensibilities of the general public. I took the box off the shelf and began reading the back. I began laughing out loud almost uncontrollably when I saw the illustrations of the person with their naked ass up in the air. So giving yourself an enema is sort of like child’s pose! Once I regained my composure, I took my selection up to the register. Of course, there was a huge line! I couldn’t decide which way to hold the box. Should I hold it with the label facing out that says in ENEMA in large type or should I face out the hysterical illustrations?!? I was up next and then realized that the three high school girls in front of me, who barely looked old enough to drive, were buying a pregnancy test for one of the girls in the group! Seriously! The world hates me sometimes. When I got back in the car, I pulled the box out again and once again was laughing!

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You Might Be An Infertile If…

I just found this link and felt the connection with everyone else relating to this things on this list!  (although I like to think of myself as just fertility challenged not yet under the official umbrella of infertility)… always hope for next month.

You Might Be An Infertile If…

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The Tale of Two Grocery Items

A few of my architecture school friends came over tonight for an informal get-together / pizza dinner. I needed to pick up a bottle of wine to share so I stopped at the grocery store after work. I picked out a Pinot Noir and then headed over to the pharmacy department. I had been needing to pick up my prenatal vitamin prescription for several days and this was finally my chance. Only as I was checking out, plunked the bottle of wine down on the counter and noticed the questioning stare of the pharmacist, did I realize that these two items don’t really compliment each other!!

I’ve been trying to stop explaining and apologizing all the time, so I silently bit my tongue, quickly paid, and slipped our of the store – wine subtly tucked behind my back and prenatals in the other hand.

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The Size 14 Bridesmaid Dress – Coming Soon!

My brother is getting married in August and his fiance asked the bridesmaids to order their dresses in January. In the spirit of hope, I went up two sizes and ordered extra length to accommodate up to a 7 month bump. You can always cut fabric off, but you can’t make it appear from nothing. Months have been tearing off the calendar and here we are – three months from the wedding and I have probably actually lost weight in my working out to prepare my body for pregnancy, so now the dress is probably three sizes too large. There will be a lot of cutting!

I saw the bride this weekend and found out that actually one of her other bridesmaid is accidentally pregnant and will be about 5-6 months along by the time of the wedding. Lucky for her – I will have panels of material to be cut out of the side of my dress that she can sew into hers! We will both be looking for a good seamstress! I am DEFINITELY not trying on this dress at the store and hope to dodge the confused looks from the saleswoman. I’ll just tell her I was on Biggest Loser!

Luckily – this is my 9th time around as a bridesmaid, so I am sooooo use to the atrocious dresses. So this is rolling off me pretty well =)

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